Jay and I have been together almost as long as I can remember now, (my brain cells are starting to discard some of my teen years…thankfully!) 20 Years, we have been living together, this June. 20! That is literally half my life that I have been in love with this Man.
We didn’t have a traditional courtship in any sense of the word…in fact we moved in together almost immediately…due to my broken pelvis and his one story home versus my stairs that we couldn’t get the walker up and down…yes, I said WALKER! Sexy, right!! 😉 But Jay has been my constant, my love, my best friend, through thick and thin, ever since. And believe me…there are thin days. They are not all thick! But one thing we have learned is that if you push through the thin days and are committed to making it work…the thick days ALWAYS come back. Sometimes it takes a little longer…but they do!
To us communication is important…but just as important is listening. Jay is way better at this than I am. He is also better at taking constructive criticism, saying he is wrong and cooking! 🙂 It is very important to listen to what your partner feels is the problem without adding your own spin on what they are saying. I have been struggling with this since the beginning of our relationship but continue to work on it. This can be hard to do…(especially if you are me)…but it is worth it to try to take the emotion out of it, and just listen to what they are saying. Then ask what you can do to help fix the problem.
Also, sometimes you have to give in and do things you don’t want to do…like pick up his socks because he is still the best Damn Hubby around…(even though they constantly find their way under the bed…and NEVER find their way into the hamper). 🙂
A good marriage takes a lot of work! It isn’t something that just happens. It also isn’t something that is worth giving up on at the first sign of trouble. So, when you are in one of the thin times…know you are not alone…and that right around the corner is another thick time…and you WILL get there…it just takes work, patience, listening, communication, love, trust and long tongs to grab those socks! 🙂
Happy Valentine’s Day!
So glad we are still working on it Jay…I am as lucky today as I was 20 years ago…and way more in love! You are my Lobster! XOXO!